Moped - the urban chainsaw on wheels. Innocent to the glance of an eye. A simple droning buzz making its way from block by block. With it’s low average speed, no one would ever suspect a moped to be a tool of any damage, other that maybe a small drop of oil here and there. With most mopeds slugging their way through the streets with their original brake cables, tires, and brake pads. I couldn’t imagine why you would want insurance for your moped…*sarcasm* Not all mopeds are created equally though. TL;DR at the bottom *flips to the next channel*
A small group of grown men gather around a yellow Honda hobbit. Dressed with leather
vest, tattered black hoodies and clutching retro style helmets painted in the theme of bass
boat glitter. They all patiently wait as a tall wiry gentleman swings his leg over his minuscule example of a moped. Sitting down on the cracked black seat, it makes a slight creak. He places his feet on the pedals and leans forward into the “attack position”, as if one was about to race a BMX bike around a blue groove track. His beard hung low to the controls on the bars while verifying the bike is on. He looks up. His long spider like legs encased in skin tight skinny jeans began to mercilessly pump life into this small little Honda hobbit. The faster he pedaled the brighter the headlight became. Just then a fierce *pop* sounded from the side mounted bulbous up-swept exhaust. A smoke ring released into the air. Followed by several more sudden blast *bing bing bing ping*. The Hobbit was alive! Grabbing handfuls of throttle to satiate his thirst for that two stroke sound, the bike chirped up proclaiming it was indeed alive! The gaggle of men who once surrounded the bike were all running for their bikes, as if this triumphant loud yellow hobbit was to stop running at the drop of a hat. One of the boys hollered to the other, “I hope it stays running this time! Last time was a close call!”
Waiting for traffic to clear, the squad decidedly squeezes itself in front of a Kia Soul who hesitated at the last stop sign. Wheels hitting the main strip with a compression of the suspension components, they tear off. Leaving behind a literal cloud of two stroke smoke, the boys head towards their favorite abandoned test highway. The crew knew they certainly weren’t the kings of the road and they needed to be vigilant. Swerving from potholes while pointing down to assist the other riders in navigating the streets. The crew was always on the lookout for the “Meredith” type of driver who could barely see the speedometer let alone a moped on the road. The boys had one long strip of city streets where they liked to test the limits of their mopeds before getting to their abandoned road. Pine street. It was always a busy road, through the art district and several large business areas. One of the boys on a Red Puch Cobra hammered down and shot ahead of the group. Soon followed by the yellow Honda hobbit, the two were knowingly about to push the limits of their tiny two stroke motors. Both neck and neck they blasted to 40mph without a problem. Even the most expensive moped off the factory floor couldn’t go that fast, let alone where they were headed! Both the boys white knuckled as their vintage wheels spun below them. The speedometers began to climb, 41,42,43,44, the riders looked at each other and tucked down to decrease their aerodynamic profile, 53-5….4 . The light ahead was beginning to change yellow. Both racers were committed at this point as they knew that they wouldn’t be able to stop in time with the drum brakes they were using. Gritting their teeth they headed into oblivion, the speedometer hit 55! The hobbit was topped out! The cobra began to move ahead, with the signal light a solid yellow. The cobra now making car lengths on the hobbit, went for the left hand turn at the light quickly rounding the corner and on the way to the destination. The hobbit knowing the yellow light had become stale at this point stayed pot committed. Several yards from the traffic light, it flipped to red. The hobbit knowing it’s current momentum of a speeding train was no match for the meek drum brakes.
The hobbit blasting under the red light. A Dodge Dart shot in from the right with blaring horn and stressed tires on the pavement from the emergency braking. The hobbit rider made contact with the left front bumper of the car. Rolling over the hood like a drunken dukes of hazard. Slamming onto the ground, he came sliding to rest against the pole possessing the button to cross the street. Lying on the ground the rider looked up, seeing black closing in on a bright blue sky. He tried to stay awake and forced himself to sit up, but nothing could be done. The black finally finished erasing the last images of this planet and everything he knew of that day.
A jarring bump from under the rider, he awoke to see that it was now night and there were flashing red lights, “what happened?!? he proclaimed to himself. The hobbit was there in the distance, with the forks folded under, with the front wheel looking like a taco, he began to put the pieces together. “Oh no!” Just then a sharp pain ran up his right leg as the paramedic began to look at his injury. Glancing down, it looked like a piece of the car had embedded itself into his leg. Then it clicked it was his OWN BONE STICKING OUT! In shock the rider grabbed at the belts to release himself from the restraints of the bed in the ambulance. He screamed, “I don’t have health insurance I can’t afford this! Let me out! “The paramedic sprang to action, pinning him down and refastening the straps and applying new ones. The paramedic shaken from this spontaneous uproar introduced a dose of ketamine to the riders IV. The world that was once again spinning for the rider ,suddenly slowed to a crawl. His mind racing began to enter into a paralytic robotic paste. “Fuck.” he said to himself. “If I would have just bought that full coverage moped insurance, I wouldn’t have to worry about going into debt for my own stupidity.” “ Now I have no moped, I have to pay to fix a Dodge Dart AND fix my leg!” He slammed his head into the pillow. It’s true that not all stories have a happy ending nor should they. We can all admit not having insurance is stupid. Yet time and time again we do it. We build a bike, slap a plate on it and head down the road. Just put insurance on it. It’s easy. (This is not a paid advertisement)
Personally my favorite for moped insurance is GEICO. It certainly might not be the cheapest by any means. But I love convenience. I love finishing a build and calling Geico up at 11:30 at night for insurance coverage. They always answer.
I have had one claim with Geico and they sent an appraiser the next day! I had a check in my hand within two weeks! They even agreed to cover a rental car during that time! You can’t beat that with a stick. Full coverage for my moped has been comically low ($47) for the year. Even at $100 for the year it’s still cheap compared to the heap of debt one could be in! Geico will even ask you if you have any mod parts! You can give them a full list and price, so they can properly cover you in the event of an accident. I have tried 3rd party insurance companies, (i.e. state farm) You know the junk mail you get with a picture of an insurance broker. Often times they require you to group all your auto, home and motorcycle together for a cheaper deal than what the big guys can offer.
However, I found it far too unsettling how difficult it was to get a hold of the broker when it was convenient for me. So I stick to shopping the bigger companies for best price from time to time. Just to be sure I’m not getting hosed on my monthly premium. I hope this short story has fear mongered you into buying moped insurance. Because if you don’t have it we can’t be friends, and that’s that! TL;DR: Don't be dumb, even if your state doesn't require insurance just spend the ~40 dollars to cover yourself. If you liked this short story check out my other one about how it’s cool to not wear a helmet while riding a moped, HERE.
Hey guys! Steen here, working to bring Moped/scooter content to you in unique and thought provoking ways! If you would like me to write about something specific please reach out to me @breakthecyclemotoworks on IG. Either way, thank you for reading! Please remember this is a one woman show, if you found this blog, or any of my writings helpful or funny, please consider simply clicking an ad that you find interesting or becoming a patron on Patreon (See link below). I will have exclusive content up there soon, along with some videos to keep the wheels turning. Even if its only a few cents a month, I will eventually be able to afford to join the dollar shave club! Again thanks so much for reading! You guys are the best! <3 -Steen
Oh yeah! I have since launched a forum for those interested in chatting about and maybe solving scooters/mopeds/motorcycles. I am personally one of the mods, I would love to enjoy the hobby together with you! Please consider joining the fun, HERE!